He's getting so big.

It's been a long time since I've posted any photos of Cayden... I stopped doing Wordless Wednesday when I started Wedding Planning Wednesday and I didn't realize that was usually when I would post new photos of him! So, I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite pictures of him from the last few months. He's 19 months now, and getting so big. His vocabulary has just exploded lately and he's even saying 2 and 3 word sentences! It's so crazy that I can actually have a conversation with my baby boy. They aint lyin' when they say they grow up way too fast! He's going through this silly face phase and some of my favorite photos of him are these weirdly cute faces he makes, so bare with me here!

 At the park. The boy loves his slides! It's so rare to get smiley pictures of him lately which is why I super extra love these photos.

 Does my child have the most beautiful eyes and lashes or what? His huge brown eyes remind me of an owl so much sometimes, and this silly closed-eyes-lashes picture reminds me of a giraffe. And I don't know why I keep comparing my toddler to animals, but I still love these pictures!

 Hipster baby! This child is too freaking adorable in his little flannel shirt and vans. Also, he has the perfect hair here. I wish it would stay like this all the time. I swear, he's a direct descendant of Harry Potter... the boy's hair is always sticking up in a hundred places!

These pictures were just taken last week and I love the silly faces. He loves Clifford AKA 'Ruff Ruff' so when we saw this shirt of course he HAD to have it!

Can you guys believe how big my sweet boy is? It feels like yesterday I was posting his birthday story! I just can't believe how big his personality is and how independent he's becoming! Wahh! Time for a new baby, am I right?!? XOXO

The best bubble recipe!

Although the weather has finally gotten cold in California, my little man always wants to be outside. Rain or shine, we bundle him up and spend some time outdoors each day. One of his favorite activities (like all toddlers) is blowing bubbles. I think we went through about 5 of those 99cent plastic bubble containers in just a few weeks! I experimented with making my own bubbles, but it wasn't until I stumbled upon this recipe via Pinterest that I learned the secret ingredient to amazing bubbles... corn syrup! A trip to Target for a $1 bubble wand and we were ready to start!

You will need:

• 6 cups of water
• 1 cup dish soap
• 1/2 cup corn syrup

Mix the water and corn syrup until completely dissolved. Slowly stir in dish soap. Store in airtight container.

These bubbles did not disappoint... The corn syrup holds everything together and really does make the best bubbles ever! We keep ours in a big Tupperware bowl with a lid out on the back porch and every day Cayden asks to play with his bubbles. And that big bubble wand from Target? Best dollar I've ever spent! He is entertained for at least a half an hour at a time, which in toddler time is pretty huge! We've been playing with them every day for a few weeks now and still have over half left so they do last awhile!

Next time your little one is bored, try making a batch of the best bubbles! Once you discover them, you'll never go back to store bought! Happy Monday everyone! XOXO

Friday Favorites: Happy Birthday Cayden

This Sunday, July 24th, at 12:47pm my precious baby boy will turn 1 year old. This past year has been the most overwhelming, life-changing, rewarding, and happiest year of my life. Having a child made me dig deep into my soul and re-evaluate everything about who I am and who I want to be. They say the first year of parenthood is the hardest to survive and while I agree with that statement, I must add that it is also the most rewarding. The fact that I created this baby, grew and nurtured him in my body, and gave birth to him is a miracle in itself. Cayden is truly my perfect match, he's everything I wanted and needed in a child and more. He teaches me important life lessons every day and this weekend we will be celebrating him. I want to dedicate Friday Favorites this week to my son, sweet baby Cayden, and my top 10 favorite things about him.

1. I love how you have no concept of personal space. Sometimes I think you would crawl back inside me if you could. You are constantly touching me, holding my hand, pulling my hair, and climbing all over me and you refuse to go to sleep without being snuggled first. Although it drives me crazy at times, I love and adore how cuddly you are and I treasure each and every touch and embrace. Being near you just calms me and I'm so glad you feel the same way about me.

2. Cayden, you are such a happy baby. Whenever we go on play dates or when people meet you for the first time they just marvel at how well behaved and happy you are. I think you get this from your father who always has a positive attitude. I still remember the first time I ever heard you laugh. We had just gone to the doctor's and you had to get some shots so I called out of work to stay home and snuggle you. We were laying on the couch and I flipped you upside down and for the first time I heard you crack up. I was so happy I was with you that day and got to experience that with you. I'll never forget that moment. Even when you're sick or teething you still have a smile on your face and I hope you never lose that happiness. Seeing you smile makes me the happiest mama in the world and your laugh is music to my ears. 

3. I love watching you sleep, baby boy. When you close your eyes you look just like my newborn baby again. Sometimes if I'm feeling sad or upset I will just watch how peaceful you are while sleeping and it calms me. When you wake up you have the brightest eyes and the rosiest cheeks. You are so sweet and snuggly, my love. Daddy and I used to love watching you wake up and seeing your 'stretchy face' and we would race to be the first one who got to pick you up. I'll never forget the morning you woke me up by softly kissing me on the lips. It's my sweetest memory of you.

4. I cannot stop obsessing over your little baby feet. I have taken hundreds of pictures of your little toes. You have the cutest toes ever, Cayden, and when you were a newborn you used to curl them around my fingers every time I would touch your feet. I love that you still do that. I love how you laugh and laugh when Daddy plays 'stinky feet' with you. One day you'll be a teenager with real stinky feet, but for now I will enjoy playing 'this little piggy' with your teeny tiny feets.

5. Baby, I never get tired of hearing how alike you and I are. People have said you look like my clone since the day you were born. We both like vegetables more than fruit, we are both stubborn and determined, and at times, we both drive Daddy crazy! I love looking into your face and seeing my face staring back. I love seeing my mom in certain facial expressions of yours. I remember when I was pregnant I told everybody you would look just like Daddy, but I was wrong. I see so much of myself in you and it never ceases to amaze me.

6. You have the most beautiful, big, brown eyes, baby. I get mad when people say it's a shame you didn't get my blue color. You and Daddy share eyes the color of melted chocolate and I never get tired of looking into them. Every where we go people comment on how pretty they are. When you are older, every girl will envy your thick black lashes and swoon over your beautiful eyes, I'm sure of it.

7. Cayden, I know I complain about it a lot, but I secretly love how attached you are to me. You definitely love your daddy, but you are a mama's boy through and through. When you're upset I'm the only one who can calm you and when you can't sleep I just have to hold you and breath into your neck to make you fall into a deep sleep. When we're apart, I feel like my soul has been ripped in two and I cry every time I'm away from you. You rarely let anyone else hold you and while it might make your grandma mad, I love it. One day you won't want me to be around as much, and that's okay, but until then, I will treasure every day like it's a precious gift.

8. Every day I am amazed at how smart you are. You hit each and every milestone a month, if not more, early. I couldn't believe when you start sitting on your own, standing on your own, talking, and now walking. People are amazed at your strength and determination. I try to never compare you to other baby boys and girls but I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know no greater joy than seeing you succeed at something you've put your mind to. I am so, so lucky to call you my son, sweet boy.

9. I know I talk a lot about the bond you and I have Cayden, but the relationship you and Daddy have is something so special. Without truly understanding the concept of time you still know when it's 5 o'clock and you stand by the door saying 'dada' over and over. Your face lights up when that door opens and it's just amazing to see. He truly is your hero, and I know you're going to want to be just like him when you grow up. I couldn't ask for a better role model for you; your Daddy loves you so much. One day you will understand how hard he works for us and how many sacrifices he has made and your love for him will fill your heart.

10. Cayden, you make me a better person. It's as simple as that. My past is not perfect and I will make mistakes in the future, but thank you for keeping me grounded and for reminding me every day how lucky I am. Every move I make, I make for you and for our family. I hope that we always stay this close and that you will feel comfortable talking to me about everything. You have made Daddy and I so much closer, stronger, and happier. I can never thank you enough for that. Thank you for being you and for bringing our family so much happiness.

"The days are long, but the years are short." -Gretchen Rubin. A truer statement cannot be made. Happy birthday, Cayden. Love, your mama. XOXO

Daily goals

When I first started considering the idea of me as a stay at home mom I'll admit, I was scared. Having worked full time since I was 17 years old, I am not used to being home day after day. One of the toughest challenges for me at the beginning was balance. I'd spend all day cleaning the house and cooking the meals and end up neglecting Cayden. Or I'll spend all day playing with Cayden and the dishes would pile up and dinner would be late. Then, I launched Mama Matryoshka and I had no idea it would take off like it did. I was so busy with my orders my blog was abandoned and I didn't have time to do my personal crafting anymore. Finally I came up with a plan that's ridiculously simple but incredibly helpful. Every morning when I wake up I write my goals for the day. I divide them in 3 categories: home, creative, and Cayden. By choosing a few tasks to do each day from each category I'm able to keep up with my cleaning, satisfy my creative appetite, and be a good mama to Cayden. It honestly makes everything really manageable and I rarely feel overwhelmed anymore. I also feel more accomplished every time I check something off my list which is a GREAT feeling! Because most of my readers and friends are also stay at home moms I thought I'd share this method and how it works for me! I'm sure each of you seasoned mamas have your own methods already, but here's a peak of how I manage!

Now I can check blogging off my list and begin the rest of my day! And if you have a tried and true system to staying organized and balanced I'd love to hear it!

Happy Mother's Day

Today is my first Mother's Day. It would be impossible to put into words the way I feel about being a mother, but I will say this: I finally feel like I'm doing what I was meant to do in my life. Everyone dreams of the perfect career, buying the perfect home, taking the perfect vacations, but for me, being a mama is all I need. Motherhood is tough, and being a young mom is even tougher. Everyday I put myself, my wants and needs last and sometimes I wish for the days I could blow all my money on clothes and sleep until noon. But when I stop and really think about it I realize that I wasn't happy then, and I'm truly happy now. I'm happier than I've ever been. Cayden is truly a gift, one that I don't deserve but one that I cherish everyday. I love him and our family more than words can express. I'm so excited for our future together, and I know that no matter what happens I will be happy because I am with my sweet boy. Happy Mother's Day everyone. I hope all of you mamas are being celebrated today, and every day.

Changes.

I never would have guessed how drastically my goals would have changed after having a baby. My plan had always been to return to work when Cayden was 6 weeks old, take off one semester and then return to school, and one day be a successful career woman. After Cayden arrived everything changed. It was physically painful to be away from him and I felt like I was missing everything. I was unhappy at my job and miserable that the only time I got to spend time with my baby boy was after work from 6-8pm. Luck was in my favor though, because not even 2 months after returning to work I lost my job. I was ecstatic! Not only would I get to spend all day, every day with my little guy but I would get unemployement benefits until I could figure out a plan for working at home. I've been home with Cayden for about 4 months now and not a day has gone by that I haven't been thankful. I see every smile, every tear, every milestone he hits and I know this is how it SHOULD be. I want to stay home and raise my babies. I still haven't returned to school and honestly, I don't know if I want to. I had always dreamt of being an elementary school teacher, and having my own classroom with field trips, history projects, and arts and crafts. I loved school growing up and I love children. However, every time I turn on the news I hear about budget cuts, union strikes, pink slips, 60 child classrooms, and online schools. Just recently I read an article saying that in 20 years there would be no more traditional classrooms and teachers. Not only does this make me sad, but it scares me. I don't want to spend time going to school getting a degree that is worth nothing for a career that has no future. I am terrified to send Cayden off to a school with metal detectors, drugs and bullies just to be taught by a stressed out under-paid teacher who doesn't have the time or energy to worry about whether or not my son is reaching his full potential. And after nearly 6 months of thinking about it, I've realized that I can have it all. I can be a full time mother. I can teach him myself. I can be with him day after day and have full control over what he learns and experiences on a day to day basis. I want to protect him and shelter him and shape him into a good person. I want to homeschool.

I've been thinking a lot about my long term plans. I know that I want to try for another baby in the Fall, but I also know that it will put a huge financial strain on us unless something changes. Living in California is NOT cheap, ESPECIALLY  the Orange County/Los Angeles area where we are. We pay more to rent a 1 bedroom apartment then my sister (living in TN) pays for the mortgage of her 3 bedroom home. Not only is it expensive, but I (personally) feel that this is a toxic place to raise a child. Around here the focus is on money and labels and possessions and outer beauty. I know that it's like that in every state, but it's magnified 100x here in Southern California. We are just a short car ride away from the fashion capital of the country and celebrities in multi-million dollar homes. My entire life I have felt that I didn't belong here. I know most people think that CA is the perfect place to live with the perpetual 70 degree weather and beaches, but it's not for me. I'm ready to move to another state. I want to see the seasons change. I want to see the brilliant colors of trees in the Fall and I want my kids to get snowed in and run around barefoot during scorching hot summers. I want to be able to afford my own home with a big porch and actually have LAND and SPACE for my kids to play and explore. I don't even like the beach... I'm a pale, white Russian girl and trust me when I say that I look ridiculous in a bikini. I could care less about the new iPad and would rather spend my time baking apple pies with babies under foot. I truly just want to live a simple life.

Mando and I have talked about our future plans and feel bad, like I've blind sighted him with all these new ideas and plans. When we first met I was working in the corporate world, wearing 5 inch stilettos everyday, going to the gym 3 times a week, and partying all weekend. I had no idea I would turn into this person who just wants to stay home and raise babies, homeschool, bake, and grow a garden. But I can't help the person I've become, and the reality of the situation is that this is the future I see for myself now. This is what I want out of life.

Of course Mando, being the amazing man he is, supports me 100%, but I know that it will be hard for him. He hates change and it will be terrifying for him to up and leave the place where he (and I) were born and raised. And his family. It will be so, so hard for him to leave his family. I honestly don't know if he could do it. I have a small family, and we're all spread out anyway, so I know it wouldn't be so hard for me. Mando's entire family is here though, along with his childhood friends. We've talked about it though, and we both agree that moving would be in our best interests as a family. We could have more babies and live comfortably and take vacations. We don't want to move far. I'm thinking Portland, or maybe Austin so we'd still be close enough to trip home if we wanted. Hopefully after getting married within the next year we'll be ready. Right now it's just a dream, but I'm ready to make it our reality.

Mother's Song

my heart is like a fountain true

that flows and flows with love to you

as chirps the lark unto the trees

so chirps my pretty babe to me

there's not a rose where I seek
as comely as my baby's cheek

there's not a comb of honey bee
so full of sweets as babe to me

there's not a star that shines on high

that's brighter than my baby's eye

there's not a boat upon the sea
can dance as baby does to me

no silk was ever spun so fine
as is the hair of baby mine

my baby smells more sweet to me
that smells in spring the elder tree

a little fish swims in the well
so in my heart does baby dwell

a little flower blows on the tree
my baby is the flower to me

ten thousand parks where deer do run
ten thousand roses in the sun

ten thousand pearls beneath the sea

my babe more precious is to me

6 months old.

It's hard to believe that 6 months has already gone by. In this 6 months I have transformed from a woman into a mother. My priority list has shifted. My goals have changed. I have changed. I feel like I'm finally the person I was meant to be.

This week since he turned 6 months has been a week of milestones. He's sitting on his own which means he can sit in the stroller without being in the bucket seat. He can sit in a high chair. He can sit on the floor and play with his toys. I don't know why it's so bizarre to me that he's sitting. I guess he just seems so much more independent.

We have also seen our first tooth! It just started poking out and I'm still working on getting a decent picture. He is such an easy, happy baby even when teething.

We celebrated 6 month's with his first meal (organic brown rice cereal to ease his tummy into solids) and a trip to the zoo! It's so funny watching someone learn to eat. It takes patience and dedication on both ends. Later we tried peas which he LOVED. I've discovered that he likes feeding himself versus spoon feeding (which doesn't surprise me) so I'm letting him explore with the spoon.

He can now get in crawl position. He's mimicking our voice tones and facial expressions. I can't even leave him alone for 5 minutes because he scoots and rolls all over the place. He gives us big, belly laughs. He's a complete daddy's boy, but he reached for me first.

These 6 months have been the best, most life-changing months of my life. And I can't wait for the next 6 months.

My journey though motherhood... so far.

This Saturday will mark 4 weeks since I've given birth to my precious baby boy. In that time I have laughed, I have cried, and I have gone a week without showering. It has been an interesting experience to say the least. However, no matter how frustrated I get at times, every time those big brown eyes search the room to find my voice my heart melts and I realize that every second is so worth it.

With that being said, there are a few things about motherhood that I didn't expect. Sure, I always heard that you don't get any sleep with a newborn, but I don't think I fully comprehended the fact and I certainly wasn't prepared for it. Cayden is like any typical newborn... he sleeps for about 2 hours at a time. He is also still adjusting to the difference of night/day and at times he will wake up at 3am and be wide awake and alert and won't fall back asleep for 2 or 3 hours. This means that I've been running off of 2-4 hours of sleep per night. I've been trying to do the majority of the work and let Mando sleep since he's already back at work, but it's frustrating and there's been more than one occasion that I've snapped at him or resented him for not helping out more.

Cayden is also a fussy baby. When my best friend told me her baby girl slept through the night and hardly every cried, I admit I was jealous. Cayden has to be hold the majority of the time and definitely isn't sleeping through the night. On more than one occasion we've had to take him out of the crib and let him sleep in bed with us because he won't settle down and fall asleep in the crib. This means that either Mando or I will go sleep on the couch because there just isn't enough room for the 3 of us to sleep safely on our bed. I really miss cuddling with Mando and sleeping in bed with him. Co-sleeping isn't what I thought it would be and I don't think it's for us. I look forward to the day where he can sleep a few peaceful hours in his crib and feel comfortable there.

So yes... motherhood is hard. I knew it would be. But I know that we will all adjust eventually and Cayden will learn to sleep more in the night as he gets older. I also think that things will get easier once I'm back at work. Most of you probably think I'm nuts, but I am getting stir crazy cooped up in our apartment day after day and I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I know I will miss Cayden like crazy and probably cry my eyes out when I have to drop him off at the nanny's, but my sanity will thank me. I have a whole new respect for you SAHM's who have little social interaction and who's day often revolves around diapers and housework. I just couldn't do it.

However, I am taking advantage of every second I have with my baby boy. Cayden is finally at that fun age where he's starting to show his personality more and more each day. I still marvel at his strength... Pretty much since birth he's been able to lift his head up on his own and look around the room. He is so alert and his eyes are ALWAYS open and observing everything around him. He's a bit of a diva and whines if we are taking too long preparing his bottle and if he doesn't want to be changed he doesn't hesitate to pee all over us! He loves the bath and after he's all clean and snuggly in his jammies I can count on him to fall asleep immediately for a few hours. He smiles and laughs in his sleep which I love! He likes reading books with mama and really loves the color red. He hates the swing AND the bouncer, but adores his car seat and stroller. My love for him grows stronger every minute of every day and I can't wait to see the little boy he grows to be. (And of course he'll be a mama's boy!)

There's a few items I've realized I can't live without since becoming a mama. When we did our registry I became obsessive. I read every review, I sent the link to my friends and family, and I even posted it on a mothering forum to ask for advice and suggestions. I wanted to make sure I had everything I could possibly need and that I wasn't forgetting anything. I MAY have gone a little overboard. However, I'm glad I put so much time into it, because if not I wouldn't have found these things:

#1. Dr. Brown's bottles. OMG. I am obsessed with these bottles. I reviewed several different types of bottles online and it was clear that these were a favorite. The main complaint about these bottles is that they have so many different parts that can be a pain to clean, but I don't feel that way. It takes me about a minute to clean them completely and the fact that they greatly reduce gas and colic is so worth it to me. Even after being breastfed for the first week, Cayden had no problem latching on to the nipples and he always burps quickly and easily after eating. I seriously can't recommend them enough.



#2. Gripe water. As you know, after my breastfeeding fiasco I switched to formula. Unfortunately, Cayden had a tough time digesting the formula after a week of breast milk and became extremely constipated. It broke my heart to see him cry and push so hard just to poop. A few different mama's I talked to recommended gripe water. It's a safe, organic liquid medicine comprised of ginger and fennel and helps with upset tummies. I've given it to Cayden a few times and it definitely helps. It makes his poop like more like breastfed baby poop and I can tell it relieves the pain in his belly. I love that it's all natural and safe enough to give with every feeding.



#3. The Boppy newborn lounger. This is different than the Boppy pillow (which I also love). It's more of a cushion that the baby can relax and be comfortable in. This is the ONLY place where I can set Cayden down when I need to cook or use the bathroom and he'll fall asleep on his own. It's slightly at an angle which helps because he hates being flat on his back and the sides cushion him and make him feel snug. When he's being extra fussy and won't sleep in his crib I'll put this in bed with us and he'll fall asleep almost immediately. He LOVES it. Evidence is in my pictures.... almost every picture I've taken of him sleeping has been in his lounger!



**I wasn't paid to talk about these products. I simply love them and wanted to pass the information along to any other new mother who might benefit from hearing from my experiences.

So that's been my experience with motherhood so far. Although we're all adjusting, I do love being a mom. It truly is the most rewarding job a woman can have. How can you not love your life when you wake up to this precious face every day?












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